How to Resist Temptation

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A big part of resisting temptation is having self-control. It doesn’t matter if you’re married or single. You don’t have to give in to your urges or lusts. Just like if you see a beautiful buffet of food doesn’t mean that you have to sample everything. There are always consequences when you do. It may not be immediate, but believe me, there will be some. Here are some ways to do that:

1. There is always somebody that can relate to you. Always know that there are many other people going through a similar situation. It’s not just you.

2. Seek wise counsel. You don’t want to get advice from a friend that would suggest cheating on your spouse or just doing what you feel. Unfortunately, that what society tells you. Doing what you want and feel will get you into trouble. If you don’t have anyone that you’re comfortable confiding in, you can always talk to a counselor. They aren’t biased or judgmental. Sometimes our friends and family can be very judgmental or cannot relate to our plight. For a matter this serious, be careful who you confide in.

3. Avoid that irresistible person or thing. . The best way to avoid temptation is to not put yourself in that situation. You don’t want to spend too much time around an attractive person of the opposite sex that you enjoy talking to. That can lead to lunches, dinners, and “cardiovascular activities”. Once you cross that line, there’s no coming back from it.

4. Think about the worst case scenario if you crossed the line. Losing your family, home, and trust from the people that care about you can be a result of your infidelity. God can bring you back from anything, but I wouldn’t want to hit rock bottom. Don’t put your family at risk for a meaningless fling.

5. Think about how wonderful your spouse is. If you need to, list 10 things that you love most about your spouse. Think about about how smart, sexy, and talented they are. Every time that other person comes to mind, think of that list.

Remember, the real thing is never as good as the fantasy. You may find out something really disturbing about that person. They may be fine, but they may also be crazy on top of that. Some people that appear to be so self-confident may in fact be very insecure. You already know what you’re getting with your spouse. They love you for who you are, including your flaws. You’ve invested so much into your marriage over the years. When you feel a weak moment coming on, pray about it. Again, the key is self-control. You’ll thank me later.

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Finding A Mate

A lot of single women ask me my opinion about finding a mate.  There are a lot of single women, whether divorced, separated, or never been married, that would like to have a great guy in their life.  The first thing that I tell them is to know what you want.  I made a list as a matter of fact when I was single.  I remember a godly man with intelligence and a sense of humor topped the list.  I must say that he exceeded my expectations.  Sure, no man is perfect, but neither are we. If you’re divorced, don’t blame yourself.  Learn and grow from the experience.

We can sometimes overlook a good man because we are so wrapped up in the physical.  No, I’m not saying that you should date a troll, but  give a guy a chance if he’s a little chubby or a little shorter than you.  Especially if you have a lot in common.  I’ve met many men that are sexy, but they are very flawed in other areas.  Sexy doesn’t pay the bills.  Sexy won’t matter if he’s cheating on you or taking his frustrations out on your face.  I tell women as long as you find him attractive, it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks.

It’s wonderful to have a man that is also your friend.  You can talk for hours when you’re together, no matter how deep the conversation.  You should have similar religious views, values, and the same attitude about family. If you want to have kids, you don’t want to be with someone that doesn’t want them.  Also, if your man wants you to be a stay-at-home mother, but you want to have a career, those are vast differences.  If you’re having major issues before you get married, they’re only going to get worse.  Also, you want a man to be supportive.  He shouldn’t bad-mouth you behind your back or embarrass you in public. You should be respectful of him as well.  Marriage is a team effort.

Lastly, when you finally meet that special man, make the marriage work.  Remember that you take vows before God.  When problems arise, communication is very important.  Don’t be selfish and beware of the many temptations that are out there.  (That’s another discussion).