Caring for Kids During a Divorce

Check out this post by Georgina Evans.

Going through a divorce is a tough time for the two individuals deciding to walk in separate directions. However, when there are kids involved, this puts extra strain on the situation. There are ways of dealing with this big event in a sensible and restrained manner. The divorce will affect every kid differently; they may be shocked, frustrated, upset and angry. This is why it is so important to make sure that the kids get every inch of support that they need. It is essential that both parents put their differences aside when dealing with the children. Make sure they know that they are loved and things will get easier. This guide is here to offer a template to how to deal with this situation in the benefit of your children.

Breaking the news

There is never an easy way to break such news, but it is best if possible for both parents to be present in the discussion. This enables the children to ask questions to both parties and offers a clear understanding of the situation. The conversation will be different for whatever age the kids are and their level of maturity, etc. In whatever case, it is vital for the parent to persist that what has happened is between them and is not the children’s fault in any way.

Restrain from conflict in front of the kids

For the sake of the children’s well being, it is best to keep heated discussions away from them. It will just escalate their worries and will upset them further. Legal talk should be kept well away from the kids also. It is not fair to discuss such matters in front of them. To make it easier for the kids, it is important to converse such matters in privacy.

Avoid disruption to routines

If parents stir up the usual daily routines due to the divorce, this disruption will add to the child’s confusion of the situation. Home life will be unsettled at this time, so keeping the usual routine going offers the children stability and structure. Children yearn stability so it is key to continue this. Undoubtedly there will be some occasions that you may have to disrupt the child’s daily routine, but it is vital to keep this to a minimum to avoid further upset.

Both parents must stay involved

An imperative point about caring for the children during a divorce is that it must be an equal and shared responsibility of both parents. They must both stay engaged in the kid’s lives to reinforce their parental figures. This will assure the kids that just because the parents will not be together anymore, this does not mean the child will not see them.

No negativity to one and other

It is important to confine blame about each other to discussions with friends or family away from the home, or therapy sessions if the parents so wish to do so. Conversing about personal issues with one another in front of sensitive ears can impact on the children’s views and feelings towards both parents. Hearing the parents being bitter towards each other will distress the kids and add more confusion to a situation they will find hard to grasp an understanding of.

Do not seek advice from the kids

Adults will need thorough support from friends, family and professionals during this upsetting time of separation. It is unfair to seek out support from your kids, as this will be offering them a biased view on the divorce. The kids may appear like they want to give you support, but for their sakes it is best to restrain from this. Perhaps discuss it with them when they are older and more mature to deal with the topic of discussion.

Dealing with kids reactions

Depending on their age and personalities, all kids will act differently. However in most circumstances, the parents must be prepared for lots of questions. The children may feel guilty and scared. It is imperative to keep the child reassured and be clear about what is going to happen. Some kids may not react straight away, so in this situation it is important to let the child be aware that they can talk to you whenever they feel ready to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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How to Keep Warm This Winter

As much as we don’t want to admit it, winter is fast approaching us. As lovely as summer has been, the nights will start drawing in and we will be soon grabbing those woolly jumpers and turning the heating on. Unfortunately, not all of us can afford the heating on throughout the whole of winter, so knowing how to keep warm is very important. Whether it is a woolly jumper or an electric blanket, we will run through the best ways to keep warm this winter, without reaching too far into your pocket!

If you are young or old, keeping warm is an important part of life, as it keeps our blood flowing and heart rate up. Without the warmth, we soon start to feel uncomfortable and ill, which can instantly lead to various problems. Whether it is you, yourself who wants to keep one step ahead of the weather this winter, or you are caring for somebody who may need to utilise these tips; then we will try to cover everything so that you winter isn’t miserable, and in fact you can become cosy and relaxed in your home and out of your home.

Clothing

Even though clothing may seem like the most obvious way to keep warm this winter, there are plenty of ways to utilise this warmth. Often we think that grabbing the thickest jumper we own might be the best at keeping us warm; however, this isn’t always the case. Even though the woolly, cotton, fleece-like materials are great for keeping warm and feeling cosy in your house, or out of it, various thin layers can sometimes be the best option. Wearing several thin layers will trap the warm air closer to your body, and your body will heat up quicker and stay warmer for longer.

Even though it may sound crazy, wearing a hat and scarf indoors can instantly make your body feel warmer as the majority of heat is lost through you head and neck. Even if you just leave them on for half an hour, you will feel the benefits of it straight away.

When you are sat at home, grabbing a blanket to put over your legs can instantly make you feel warmer, creating a cosy feeling within your home. Whilst you have the blanket on, raising your feet off the ground and putting them on a small table or pouf, can make you feel warmer without realising, as cold air stays lower to the ground.

When you are in bed, try to wear warm clothes. If you are not used to doing this, it can sometimes feel uncomfortable but you will soon get used to it. You are able to buy thick pyjamas in your local clothes shop at a reasonable price, and they are guaranteed to last all winter. When it is really cold, thermal underwear and bed socks are a good choice, as this will not only keep you warm, but also you will be able to have a better sleep without waking often.

Food

When it comes to winter, it is best to stick to thick, hot meals that will keep you warm throughout. If you are on a budget, thick, chunky soup is ideal, as it is cheap to buy from your local shop and very simple to make. If you struggle with diabetes, having a diet based on sugars and fats is not good, however, there are plenty of ways to get around this. By looking at the amount of carbohydrates that is in your meal, you can keep track of your daily intake. With plenty of information online, diabetes doesn’t mean you can’t treat yourself at all, but being aware of what you can and cannot have is always a good idea! If you are stuck for things to cook, try something different with your leftovers, maybe a homemade soup or stew, ideal as it will last for days.

Small things to prevent the draughts

Unfortunately, we all struggle in our homes with the unwanted drafts that flow through our houses in winter. When the wind gets up, it sneaks through our homes, instantly creating that chilling temperature. To prevent these chills there are certain things you can do to keep the draught away. Keyhole covers may sound silly, but the amount of draught that can come through various doors in your house can be ridiculous. These are available to buy at garden centres and many other high street shops. They will stop the draught and you will instantly notice the effects. If you have somebody who can help you, a relative or friend, then fitting thermal linings in your curtains can not only prevent the cold from entering your home, but can also keep the heat in as well. Regarding curtains, in the winter it is best to close you curtains as soon as it gets dark, if you are able to, as this will keep the heat in, and you don’t have to be looking out at the dark night sky. If you have spare blankets or throws lying around your home, laying them at the bottom of doors is ideal, as this will stop the draught from sneaking in and it will certainly keep your toes a bit warmer!

Known to work instantly, a hot water bottle is ideal for both day and night. You can put in under your blanket whilst you are watching TV in your living room, or even when you go to sleep, making it easier to drift off. Wherever you choose to put your water bottle, it will most definitely be the best thing you buy this winter. You can buy hot water bottles from most local stores at a reasonable price.

Whether you, yourself needs to keep warm this winter, or you are caring for a relative or friend, just remember, using some of these simple tips will instantly make your home feel warmer, and you are able to relax this winter. Whether it is a glass of coco in front of the TV or a hot water bottle in your bed, you will be able to be comfy and cosy this winter.

Georgina Evans

19.8.14