10 Ways for Stay-at-home Moms to Relax and De-stress

It has its rewards; however, things can be overwhelming sometimes for a stay-at-home mom. Are you always doing things for others with little or no time left for yourself? Here are some ways to relax and de-stress:

  1. Tell others when you feel overwhelmed. They may not like what you have to say, but it is better to express how you feel. You don’t want to hold your feelings in and lash out at a later time. Calmly express your feelings. It’s always nice to HEAR that you’re appreciated for all that you do.
  2. Pamper yourself. Go get a massage, manicure, or pedicure. Go to the beauty salon. If you don’t want to go to the spa, there are things you can do at home. For instance, you can take a long bubble bath, light some scented candles, or give yourself a facial. When you look good, you feel good.
  3. Exercise.  Physical activity relieves stress and burns calories.
  4. Take time to see friends. I typically get together with friends at least once a month for dinner or other activity. It gives us a chance to talk and catch up.
  5. Accept those invites. If you get invited to a party or event, go if you don’t have other plans.  It’s a privilege to be included.
  6. Go shopping. This is always fun for those that enjoy it. Macy’s, Victoria’s Secret, and DSW Shoes always send me coupons.
  7. Have daily quiet time. I either do it first thing in the morning or in the evening. Sometimes I do it twice daily. This is the time that I use to brainstorm, pray, write in my journal, and do meditation.
  8. Have date nights. When you can get a babysitter, plan a night out for two. Dinner and a movie always work well. If you both enjoy sports, plan to go to a game.
  9. Plan a getaway. Sometimes you just need a change in scenery. If you’re fortunate enough to a vacation each year, do it. There are so many beautiful places to see, within the U.S. as well as internationally. Life is shorter than you think.
  10. Get a hobby. Find an activity that you’re passionate about. Your hobby could later become a source of income.

When your kids are in school, that gives you time to run errands and relax for a while. If your kids take naps, use that time to catch up on sleep. I rarely have the opportunity to sleep past 6:30am. I’m usually the first to get up most days. Even though I only have one child, he keeps me busy. I treasure our time together. He’s growing up.

When A Lifelong Friendship Ends

There are many reasons that friendships end. It’s often painful when you lose a lifelong friend. You’ve known them since grade school, or you grew up in the same neighborhood.  You think that with everything that you been through that your friendship wouldn’t end over someone of the opposite sex.

Here’s the scenario:  Your best friend has been dating the same person for many years.  During that time, you become friends with her as well.  Your best friend dumps his current girlfriend for what he thinks is a better catch.  Then, he deserts you and everyone else in his circle for her.  During this time, his ex feels betrayed and confides in you.  He hears about it and becomes jealous, even though there’s nothing sexual involved. All you’re doing is listening and advising.  As time passes, this new love of his life betrays him by marrying another guy right under his nose.  The ultimate betrayal, right?

He tries to apologize to his ex, you, his family, and everyone else that he’s hurt in the process.  He drops the bomb….he gives you an ultimatum…..him or his ex. You can only be friends with one of them.  Very immature indeed.  You should not be forced to choose sides.

You don’t want to end a lifelong friendship over something petty as this, but sometimes it has to be that way. When you think about your friendship over the years, there were times that he stole from you.  You forgave him every time.  He took advantage of you time and time again, and you forgave him.  When do you reach your breaking point?  Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired?  You need to get toxic people out of your life.  Here are some signs that it’s time to keep it moving.

1. They damage your self-esteem.  Just like in any relationship, you wouldn’t want to be around a verbally or mentally abusive person.  If this person “stabs you in the back” , he was not a real friend from the start. A true friend is always brutally honest, even if it hurts a little sometimes.

2. They encourage negative behaviors.  If you  find yourself engaged in negative behaviors (i.e. stealing, drugs, violence) now because of this “friend”, it’s time to move on.

3. You only see them when they want something. You have those friends that only come around or call you when they need money or a favor.  There has to be a point where enough is enough.  Do not let them continue abusing your friendship.

4. You’ve grown and they haven’t matured.  I’ve experienced this a lot over recent years.  I have grown apart from some of my friends because of either petty differences or I’ve outgrown them.  They still act like high school kids. I’m an elitist….I like being in the company of intelligent people.

5. You don’t trust them.  Obviously, if you don’t have the trust factor, there isn’t a friendship.

Every once in a while, you need to do an inventory.  Some of us manage to get away from hurtful people only to go back to them because they are familiar.  Think about your current situation.  Do you have an awesome circle of friends?  Or are they toxic?  It’s not the quantity of friends, but the quality.  I’d rather have 5 great friends than 20 fake friends.  Detox if you need to.  You’ll feel better.

Can Married Women Be Friends With Single Women?

Lately, I have been thinking about my friends.  Every now and again, you may have to cut somebody out of your life.  Once you get married, some people change, and oftentimes, it is not for the better.  I can honestly say that the single friends that I have are true friends.  They were happy for me and didn’t “hate” when I got married.  We celebrate each other’s achievements, and they  don’t get pleasure out of my misfortune.  Life happens to all of us.

Then there are those women that I was friends with at one time that have drifted away.  Not because they are “haters” necessarily, but because we no longer share the same goals or interests.  That’s typical.  All of us change in some way as we get older. Most of my friends are married, but I can be friends with a single woman as long as she has good intentions.  The enemy is always trying to ruin marriages, and he will sometimes use people to do it.  I’m very careful about who I call a “friend”,  but once you have my trust, that’s all I need.    Some women just need some good advice or an encouraging word.  I can give you that.